“You don’t write because you want to say something. You write because you have something to say.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald
Every so often, I forget the reason I’m a writer. I’ve never gone so far to lose myself in the pursuit of the end goal. I’ve always enjoyed the process, but recently I’ve been marketing A LOT. Social networking has started to take over my life as I’ve filmed videos and taken photos for my social media platforms. Then I forgot why I’m doing it in the first place. A few days ago, I simply needed a break.
While I cared for Bobsai, my bonsai tree, I meditated over my entire end goal which is to be a self-published novelist. I’m most likely writing this for myself to remember why I started in the first place
Let’s rewind a bit to understand why I started in the first place.
I started to write in a diary when I was seven to improve my English. It wasn’t until I was eleven I started to journal as part of my routine. Now, I’m sixteen and I have all these journals of my life. I have ticket stubs from when I watched Inside Out, the first movie I ever cried at. I can open my diary and relive the first day of high school; all my nerves and excitement were alive within the pages.
I started to write fiction when I was eleven. It came so naturally. I created simply to obliterate the world. I wanted to forget my life and put myself entirely in a different world. In a time where all control was taken out of grasp, I reverted to looking towards an art form where I was the only authority.
I started to write poetry when I was twelve, not to say any of it was good. Still, it was a way for me to express myself through art. There are no rules in poetry and that really let me flex my artistic muscles. The experience proved to me that I will create art even if I know it isn’t good. I did it just because it was fun.
I started to write about feminism when I was fourteen. That was really when I understood what was my meaning in life, despite the corniness of the phrase. I wanted to write to educate. Education is extremely valuable to me due to my culture and upbringing. I am extremely Asian, particularly Filipino, and my mother was able to provide for me all because she traveled overseas for an education. Whether I educate through creative writing or nonfiction, I want people to learn about the wonders and horrors people of less privilege face, so the world will change one person at a time.
Now, this is my first ever blog post and I’m writing to make friends. All through my writing experience I was alone and it was fine, but I’m getting to a point in my life where I’ve taken writing seriously. The lines between passion and occupation have blurred together and I couldn’t be more than grateful.
It’s important to take a step back when stressed to really realize why you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s great to enjoy the process and I am enjoying it. Even then, you could forget your main goal.